boring life

feel so bored with my life in the meantime.. although im very busy in the morning till evening, but still i feel so bored when the night come.. it's just like nothing to do, no one to find and to talk too.. sometimes i feel that i don't even have a true friend at all.. like all your friend just disappear when you need them.. and when you tried to find them, they will just take no action with that.. i'm tired of being so friendly and nice all the time, coz it will end up people don't even care about my feeling at all.. they will just treat you like rubbish or even air.. sighhh..

i think i'm totally lost now..
i don't even know where am i now??
what's my purpose now??

damn feel like screaming now!!!!!!!! damn feel like crying all night long!!!!!!

life is like a roller coaster............

life has been like a roller coaster for this few weeks..
first, i was shock to know that this "guy' with the ma'am joke is actually my long long relatives.. can't really accept it at first.. haha.. but yeah.. life must go on, n my brain is working well on it.. n thanks to all the busyness in my life that help me cope with it..

then, i finally found the long lost answer that make my life so miserable for the past few weeks.. MISUNDERSTANDING.. yeap.. that's the keyword.. thanks to my crazy brain that keep thinking too much.. the story was like 2 people nvr reply my chat and comment, and i kept thinking like why?? why?? they hate me?? then 1 day, i saw this friend online.. i was being brave, then i call this friend.. and guess what?? no reply+ offline.. okay.. damn upset.. BUT THEN.. i saw the chat window pop up.. and we chat a while(thanks to the indo internet connection for being damn slow) damn happy, and i realised that it was all misunderstanding.. haha.. silly me..

and i think you really captured my heart back.. i started to focus on you again, i want to know everything about you.. i'm trying to get close to you, but i think it's hard.. but i'm really happy for the good news you get!! you have did a great job all this time, and it's time for you to shine now..
you will be doing great, because that is what you have been longing to do.. no matter what, i will always support you!! <3

and the last thing is, this "guy" is back to medan again.. haha.. but this time quite okay.. coz my brain had been working hard on this problem.. yeap.. no expectations this time.. but still, can you just talk to me more?? that was what i'm thinking.. so it really do come true.. haha.. last day of your trip you talk a lot with me.. so shock for a while.. but good talk btw, know you a bit more.. after that, my mum ask him for dinner together.. and yeah, he sat beside me, had a good laugh and a good joke time.. the thing that we never have before, but hope that it will be better the next time you come, okay cousin?? haha..

i've been blogging so much about them.. haha.. and it's time to get back to listen to the ten2five and andien songs.. favourite music for the mean time.. <3 <3

i give up......

at last i know what's the relationship between you and me..
we are long long relatives..
yeah.. it's true..
you're my cousin's cousin..
what a joke!!!!!!
why do fate always make fools of my life????

i'm talking bout the guy that calls me ma'am,
the guy that always joking with me saying he is married,
the guy that ruins my life since then....

okay... i have to get you out of my mind from now on..
you are just my RELATIVE..
that's it..
there's nothing more..

i want to fly to sg NOW!!!!!!

i damn damn damn want to go to sg NOW!!!!!!!
my friends are having their recitals this weekend..
oh god, why u don't let me go?????
he's having his recital in the next 30 mins,
hope that he will do his best,
and i know he can do it!!!! =)
hope that someone will record the recital and i get to see it..
please!! please!!
i'm so sad that i can't be there.. T.T
how i wish i am there NOW..

however, best wishes from medan for you!!
and best wishes to all my friends!! ganbatte!! <3 <3

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i don't understand the relationship between you n me..
sometimes you treat me as a friend,
but sometimes you treat me as a business partner..
sometimes you give me hope,
but sometimes you let me down..
what do you really want me to do??

i've been trying to forget you for so many times,
but you keep appearing in so many ways..
life gets tougher when i have become accustomed with you chatting with me for 3 days straight..
i know i'm crazy, but that's how i feel now..
i kept looking at my phone, thinking that you might be looking for me..
but i know you won't..

maybe it's time to let you go..
maybe it's time to forget about you..
and maybe it's time to give up..

I'M BACK.....

after so long.......... at last I'M BACK!!!!
it's been 1 year since i update my blog..
been having lots of changes n regrets over the years..
and I'm back in my beloved hometown MEDAN for good!!
excited?? YES.. regret?? YES..
haha.. i know i'm crazy..
BUT i really do miss my college life, n my college FRIENDS!!

anyway, been helping in the shop for 6 month plus..
having a total same sequence everyday..
bored?? YES!!!!
need my holiday damn soon..
coz my pop friends having their recital in this end of april..
and i want to be there!!!!! T.T
i miss them n i miss singapore too..
but i know i won't be able to go coz of someone being so childish about the jealousy stuff!!
but i already got my holiday in last March..
went to Jakarta Java Jazz Festival with Lasalle's friends..
having my great time after so long.. =)

i miss him.. >.<
i'm just being so random..
he keeps ruining my life, since we know each other..
actually not always ruining, sometime u just made my day.. =)
we've known each other for only damn good 1 minute,
and the next day you chat n call me ma'am.. >.<
what a joke!!!!!
and the story start from there.. haha..
and i know that the statement "faith always makes fool of people's life" is true..
so many coincidence that ruin all my decision..
and the biggest coincidence is you're here again when i'm almost get over you..
and yes we have a really nice n good chat this time.. =)
but i know this only happen when you're here.. =(
so i'm back to the place where i need to get you out of my mind..
oh faith.... why do you have to do this to me??????

anyway, i have been blogging too much.. haha..
time to sign out..
might be blogging again SOON.. haha..