people change

it feels so bad when you realize your friends had changed.. they are not the people that you know already.. people change, left everything behind and move on.. why do people change?? can't people just stay the same??
the person that was once your best friend, now become strangers.. totally strangers.. how sad it is.. that's what life really gives you.. but you can't do anything to change it back, cause the people choose to forget everything and move on with a new path.. a path without you in it.. =(
sometimes you feel okay when your friend take you for granted, but still we're human, we have feeling.. we'll feel like we're not appreciated and not important if you keep treating us like that..
this life really gives you a lot of tasks everyday.. i'm so pissed off with my life nowadays.. so many things have happen and they really makes you feel so down and depress sometimes.. you keep asking yourself, "is it my fault?" *sighhhhh.....

2012

the first post on the 1st day of 2012..
haven't been blogging for 4 months, and lots of things happen.. but it's new year now, don't want to look back anymore.. have to look forward to 2012!!
my only wish for this new year is this year will be better than the previous one.. a year with lots of breakthrough, lots of learning, lots of friendship, but less regrets.. and please fill my life with awesome stuff and awesome people.. wish that my wish can come true.. =)
i wanted to change my life a bit.. maybe start with positive thinking?? my friend told me that i always think to the negative side, whatever the thing is.. i realised that, but it's my reflect.. i'm like trained to always think to the negative side.. but i will try to look more to the positive side starting from now.. it's so tiring to have a negative thinking, cause it makes u to think more and more..
and i want to start dieting again.. haha.. dunno whether it will work or not?? but not a total diet, just lesser the portion of my food.. the most important thing is i wish to make more friends!! i'm tired of relying on my only friends in medan.. sometimes people are just so egoist, they will just look for u when they need u, and when they had new friend they intend to forget about their old friend.. i'm tired of always be the one that please everyone and no one even thankful about it.. maybe it's time to go out and look for new friends, but how?????
tired with everything happen in my life, i just wanted a simple life.. is it very hard to achieve?? i will try to change my life from now on, start my day with a BIG SMILE, look more to the brighter side, and to be more outgoing person.. that's my new year resolution!!!! oh GOD please grant me the power to achieve my resolution!!!!

boring life

feel so bored with my life in the meantime.. although im very busy in the morning till evening, but still i feel so bored when the night come.. it's just like nothing to do, no one to find and to talk too.. sometimes i feel that i don't even have a true friend at all.. like all your friend just disappear when you need them.. and when you tried to find them, they will just take no action with that.. i'm tired of being so friendly and nice all the time, coz it will end up people don't even care about my feeling at all.. they will just treat you like rubbish or even air.. sighhh..

i think i'm totally lost now..
i don't even know where am i now??
what's my purpose now??

damn feel like screaming now!!!!!!!! damn feel like crying all night long!!!!!!

life is like a roller coaster............

life has been like a roller coaster for this few weeks..
first, i was shock to know that this "guy' with the ma'am joke is actually my long long relatives.. can't really accept it at first.. haha.. but yeah.. life must go on, n my brain is working well on it.. n thanks to all the busyness in my life that help me cope with it..

then, i finally found the long lost answer that make my life so miserable for the past few weeks.. MISUNDERSTANDING.. yeap.. that's the keyword.. thanks to my crazy brain that keep thinking too much.. the story was like 2 people nvr reply my chat and comment, and i kept thinking like why?? why?? they hate me?? then 1 day, i saw this friend online.. i was being brave, then i call this friend.. and guess what?? no reply+ offline.. okay.. damn upset.. BUT THEN.. i saw the chat window pop up.. and we chat a while(thanks to the indo internet connection for being damn slow) damn happy, and i realised that it was all misunderstanding.. haha.. silly me..

and i think you really captured my heart back.. i started to focus on you again, i want to know everything about you.. i'm trying to get close to you, but i think it's hard.. but i'm really happy for the good news you get!! you have did a great job all this time, and it's time for you to shine now..
you will be doing great, because that is what you have been longing to do.. no matter what, i will always support you!! <3

and the last thing is, this "guy" is back to medan again.. haha.. but this time quite okay.. coz my brain had been working hard on this problem.. yeap.. no expectations this time.. but still, can you just talk to me more?? that was what i'm thinking.. so it really do come true.. haha.. last day of your trip you talk a lot with me.. so shock for a while.. but good talk btw, know you a bit more.. after that, my mum ask him for dinner together.. and yeah, he sat beside me, had a good laugh and a good joke time.. the thing that we never have before, but hope that it will be better the next time you come, okay cousin?? haha..

i've been blogging so much about them.. haha.. and it's time to get back to listen to the ten2five and andien songs.. favourite music for the mean time.. <3 <3